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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26984020">You saved my life</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeviantSlytherin/pseuds/DeviantSlytherin'>DeviantSlytherin</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst and Fluff, Comfort, Eventual Fluff, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 22:35:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,064</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26984020</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeviantSlytherin/pseuds/DeviantSlytherin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry doesn’t want to live anymore. And he’s ready to finally be free. Could Draco Malfoy help him learn how to live again?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>62</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>You saved my life</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The train was a rather quiet one, as Harry Potter, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger sat in their compartment, making their way to their eighth and final year of Hogwarts. If you asked Harry, he didn’t want to be here. After the war, Harry feel into a deep depression that unfortunately, he still wasn’t out of. But there was only so long that he could sit in the Grimmauld Place, getting drunk on some cheap muggle brand whiskey, and drink his pain and sorrows away, day after day. </p><p>He got away with it for about a month, telling the others he just needed time. He was really good at putting on a smile and making himself look like it was all fine on the outside. Because as he told his friends and close ones; he just needed time. </p><p>Maybe, that was what he needed. Maybe, it wasn’t why he needed. Maybe, it was really that he needed to get out of that dark, dreary home that once joked that once housed his godfather, Sirius Black, the man who had been one of the closest people to a father figure he would ever come to have. Maybe, just maybe, he didn’t need time, because there was nothing that could truly fix what had happened. </p><p>There was nothing that could fix the damage that inflicted on those of the war. He had attended every single funeral, each one just as awful and soul-crushing at the last. Reminders that the Weasleys had lost someone. That a baby, not even a year old had lost his parents. That students that had nothing to do with the war, had lost so much. And Harry, took it upon himself to make it his responsibility, this fault for causing as much death as he had. Nothing, not even his best friends, could get him out of this ever-spiraling darkness he had fallen so deeply into. </p><p>That’s why he said nothing all the way to Hogwarts. It’s why his friends seemed to have stopped trying weeks ago to get Harry back into his normal state of mind. Though, he didn’t know at this point what a normal state of mind was. All of his years at Hogwarts had been attempts, one after another, to survive to the next school year. And even before that, he was a freak who lived under a stair case. There was no, normal state of mind. In fact, there was no normal anything. </p><p>His normal, was trying to convince himself that the next day would be better. His normal, was waking up every morning, trying to find reason to be getting up again, just to fake a smile and force a laugh. His normal, was trying to figure out what his purpose was. Because day after day the last two months, he had come to a realization that his life is nothing but normal. His life is an agonizing pain that never ends. </p><p>He never considered himself suicidal. He always secretly wished that the evil, no nose bastard would put him off, finally ending it all. But when he walked the final march to the spot in the forest, the spot that was supposed to finally be the end, he was only forced to come back. Because no matter how much he hated his life, no matter how much he wanted it to end, he couldn’t let so many innocent people suffer in Voldemort had won. And so, he came back. </p><p>It wasn’t until after he came back from the dead for a second time, that he believed the world to actually be a cruel, unjust place for not letting it end. It wasn’t until a week or so after the end of the war, that he sat up one night, telling himself that the end was near for him. He thought a lot about death at that point. To the point that he knew how he wanted to die. </p><p>The only thing he wanted to do before he died, was go back to Hogwarts, and see it’s beauty one last time. He wanted to walk the halls and really appreciate them. He wanted to walk onto the quidditch pitch, the one place he had always felt free, and experience that once last time. He wanted to eat his last meal in the great hall, enjoying the terracle tart that was served. And then, when it was all over, he was going to that his finally breaths in that school, finally, ending it. Finally being free of all this pain and misery and emptiness. </p><p>Harry noticed that when you know the end is near, your life plays out in front of you like movie. A movie that he stars in and the rest of the world just kind of moves around him as if they don’t really know what’s going to happen. The events all playing out in such a way that it feels like this really in his destiny. </p><p>That’s how the train ride was. He remained silent as he left the train compartment behind his friends, who all looked at him with doleful looks in their eyes. They felt sorry for him. No one stayed long enough to stop and talk to him though. He was sure that everyone had given up by now. Maybe in the beginning they had tried, but at some point everyone had come to terms that, Harry, was a lost cause, and they stopped. </p><p>That was one thing he convinced himself of. The people who he cared about most, the ones that he knew would take his death the hardest, would move on. They could only be sad for the loss of Harry for so long before they had to quit grieving and move on. Hermione and Ron had each other and one day they would get married and they would have children. Ginny would most likely end up back with Dean Thomas and he knew they would both be happy together, no matter how often they fought. The rest of the Weasleys, they all had each other. Teddy, he had his grandmother Andromeda, besides, the boy didn’t even know Harry. He wouldn’t remember him after Harry was gone. </p><p>The walk off the train and towards the carriages the Thestrals pulled was a short one. Hermione and Ron had met up with Luna and Neville, all of them talking. All of them acting as if the war hadn’t happened and no one had actually died. All acting as if everything was perfectly fine. All while Harry sat quietly, keeping to himself. </p><p>The ride to the castle, was exactly how he would want his last trip to be. The glow of the castle off in the distance, slowly get closer and closer was why he had done this. Hogwarts has always been his home. No matter how crazy his life was there, he always come back to the school with the sense of calmness. He could picture that first night his first year, when the lights had Illuminated off the lake in dancing, shimmering beauty. He remembered the feeling and even now, in the final hours of his life, he looked back at how excited and nervous he had been. He was envious of the innocence of that younger boy.</p><p>The walk into the castle was also one he had expected. This one though, holding not so fond feelings. The last time he had walked through these halls, he had been fighting for his death. And nothing in the world could vanish the sorrow and emptiness that came as they walked in. This was also why he had chosen to do this here. This was a reminder that what he was doing, what he was going to do later that night, was destined to happen.</p><p>The great hall was the next place he entered. The entire room boomed with noise and excitement in such a lively atmosphere, most wouldn’t believe that two months prior, the dead bodies of people he cared about had laid on the floors in a lifeless heap. If someone hadn’t known about the war, they wouldn’t have guessed it had happened here in the room. Every brick was so out together, erasing all signs of anything happening there. Harry knew though. Harry knew that soon, he was going to be with the ones who died in this room. And that thought was oddly relaxing.</p><p>The sorting hat ceremony was great to watch. The little 11 years olds all walking up with nervousness as they got sorted into their respective houses. He remembered all those years back, sitting up there on that same stole, the sorting hat telling him he would be great in slytherin. His thoughts went back to those of Draco Malfoy and the question he had always asked himself. What if Harry and Draco had been in the same house? Would they have gotten close? Would they have been friends? Could Harry have saved the boy from becoming a death eater? </p><p>He thought about this a moment, the name of Draco still fresh in his mind when he a loud whisper.<br/>“Would you look at that? Malfoy decided to actually come back.” Harry looked up almost immediately and his heart dropped at the sight. </p><p>Draco Malfoy, the once arrogant, annoying Prat, looked not so arrogant and not so annoying. He knew that the boy had not done well with the end results of the war. His hair was no longer in a gelled, combed back do. His skin was paler than usual and this eyes were so black from the lake of sleep. He looked like the walking dead, which Harry didn’t doubt he himself looked like.</p><p>Harry had spoken for the blonde and his mother, able to get them out of Azkaban. But nothing he could have done could get that blonde to look lively once more. Harry hoped that after he was gone, that the blonde would have a life that was fulfilling and worth talking about. Maybe once day, after death, Draco would have died living a life of true happiness. </p><p>Before he knew it, dinner was over and they were all walking back to the eighth year dorms. Everyone in the eighth year had been put into one dorm, all adults, all exceptions that were able to come back. Boys were in one room, girls in the other. Harry’s bed was placed in the middle of Ron’s and Nevilles bed. Draco and Blaise Zabini were on the others sides of Ron and Neville. </p><p>The dorm was mostly quiet when they entered it. Blaise and Draco didn’t say a word and Harry followed in their silent converse. Ron and Neville were both talking to each other happily, as if they were the only ones in the room. That feeling of the world moving around him as if he were in a movie appeared again, but he ignored it for the most part. This was what he wanted to experience, one last time before he left this world. </p><p>The rest of the night went by so quickly. Harry had sat in front of the fire in the eighth year common room, everyone chatting happily, Harry just staring into the fire. Until everyone was ready for bed. He finally decided, this was it. He needed to say something, since this was the last time he would ever get this chance. Hermione was the first to stand up and say she was headed to bed. </p><p>“Hermione?” He said, standing up, looking at the girl who seemed shocked to even hear Harry’s voice. He hadn’t spoken to her since she asked him if he had everything for their year at Hogwarts earlier that morning.</p><p>“Harry.” She answered in a small hesitant voice. Harry stood there for a long moment, the tension high in the air. Harry couldn’t stand the tension and so he walked forward, pulling her into a long lasting, tight hug. His next words he said carefully, since these would be his last.</p><p>“Thank you Hermione. For everything. I don’t know what I would have done without you all these years. Your like a sister to me. I want you to always remember that.” He let his eyes get watery, threatening to cry. He didn’t care though. This was his last moment with the girl. “I love you so much Hermione. Your like the sister I never had.” </p><p>The girl, shocked at first, ended up hugging back, melting into Harry arms. “Harry, I love you too. I’m always here for you, okay? Things will get better.” The words sent an avalanche of emotions through him, emotions that he pushed back the best he could. She pulled away from Harry. “Goodnight Harry. I will see in the morning.” Harry watched at she walked up the stairs, watching his friend leave the room for the very last time. </p><p>The next to go was Ron. He just stood up and looked at Harry. He scratched his head awkwardly. “I’m”going to bed. Do you... are you going to bed now?” </p><p>Harry shook his head. “No.” He said shortly, the red head, his first ever friend, only looked away as if this didn’t surprise him. “Ron?” Harry said stopped him from walking away. </p><p>“Thank you. For being my friend.” He said in quiet tone, so much feeling seeping through the words. </p><p>“No problem mate. I don’t know what I would have done without you. Your my best friend. Like hermione said. It’ll get better.” Ron didn’t say anything after that. Harry watched him walk away, the last person he had wanted to give his final farewell too, gone. </p><p>This was exactly how he had wanted this to go. In his mind, he knew that Ron wouldn’t be as emotional as Hermione. He knew that Ron would be the last person he said goodbye too. And he had planned this out knowing that he would never actually walk into that room and go to sleep. He would never actually sleep again. Well, unless it was the endless sleep that was death. </p><p>With one last look over the common room, only a few students in the room still, he left the room, to do his last final walk through the halls. He walked out of the door to the halls and put his invisible cloak on. He didn’t want to be seen and stopped. He knew that someone was bound to ask the question of why he was walking around at such a late hour of the night. </p><p>The halls were quiet and empty now. The light from the moon shown through the windows, creating just enough light for Harry to make out the details of his surroundings and truly admire their beauty one last time. How many times had he walked through the halls, sneaking off to do stupid tasks. He wished now he would have just stayed out of trouble. Lived like a normal teenager who figured out himself and dated and laughed and cried. But he had never been given that opportunity. </p><p>He knew the few places he had wanted to go before he left this world. One, was the old potions classroom. The one he had hated for so long, but it was also the one place the man he had respected in the end, had spent all his time. Severus Snape, the man who had tormented him every single day, but in the end, he was a good man. </p><p>He walked into the classroom, his mind playing all the times he had in this room. All the classes he shared with Hermione and her know it all knowledge. Draco and his perfect, flawless potions. Ron and his ability to mess up every potion they am ever worked on. He couldn’t believe that this place had been such an important part of his life, not when he had suffered so much in this room. What would Snape do now if he saw that the span of James and Lily was going to end his life after he had done so much to save it? </p><p>The next place he walked to was the one place he wouldn’t have thought would have been so important to him, but it was now in this moment. The abandoned girls bathroom that was haunted by the ghost of Moaning Myrtle. He remembered all the days he had spent in this room creating the stupid polyjuice potion that had turned Hermione into a cat. He remembered the chamber that opened up when he spoke Parseltongue. He even remember the day he has almost killed Draco in here.</p><p>He had never actually apologized for that moment, but in his mind, he didn’t need to. Harry knew that Draco was a strong boy. Stronger than he himself knew. Draco would feel better knowing that Harry ended his life after almost ending his right here in this tile floor. </p><p>The next place he went to, was the room of requirement. He paced in front of the door until it opened, walking into the all to familiar room that he had once held the DA meetings at. He had loved this room. This small little sanctuary that hide him from the god awful lady in Pink, Dolores Umbridge. Everyone had loved Harry teaching them all. And this was was the room Harry had gotten his first kiss, even if he didn’t like the girl to much in the end. </p><p>After the Room of requirement, he walked out of the school halls to the small little hut that had smoke coming from even smaller chimney. Harry still remembered the look on Hagrids face when Harry had walked out into the cleaning deep in the forest, ready for death. He remembered how upset he had been. Hagrid, had been the first person to show Harry kindness. These were moments that Harry would cherish now, even as he set out to end his life. </p><p>The last place he wanted to go to, before he went to place he would die, was the quidditch pitch. This was the one place, he had always felt the most free. But even quidditch had been tarnished. A few times in third year when the dementors were sucking out his soul, and then again when Harry had been banned from quidditch because of Umbridge. It was yet another reminder that all good things had to end. </p><p>Harry had done it. He had done the things he wanted to do, seen the last places he wanted to see, and say the last goodbyes he wanted to say. This was the part of the movie when you thought there would be a happy ending, but you find out that there never was going to be a happy ending. This is the part where they had continued rolling the camera, in hopes to see what would come next, but it was cut out since it was to graphic, and of course it didn’t paint the main character in a good light. </p><p>It’s the one part of the story no one would ever had guessed. The chosen one, the one that lived twice, the boy who saved the wizarding world, would walk to his death, ever step being one step closer to the moment he would be relieved from all of those titles. He would be the boy who had been lied to, manipulated, and forced to do things that had broken him, shattered him into a million unrepairable pieces, until finally, he couldn’t take it anymore, and finished himself off. </p><p>He made it to his final destination, the astronomy tower. Albus Dumbledore had died in here. It was only fitting that the man who had used Harry, built him up to be nothing but a human weapon, would die in the same place Harry Potter did. Harry walked over to the railing, looking down at the ground below. He hoped that his fall wouldn’t be that bad. Maybe he would look like Albus had on that day. Maybe he would be found and everyone would raise their wands to the fallen hero, giving their respect for the boy who gave it his all. </p><p>He placed his wand on the ground, he didn’t need it where he was going. He would never need it again. He stood up, his mind completely content with what was about to happen, and he took his small walk to the edge, more than ready to give into death. He wasn’t scared. In fact, he was perfect fine. He had died before. Death wasn’t scary. It was peaceful. It was as if the world was no longer on his shoulders. And that was what he longer for. It was what he craved more than anything in the world. It was what he was ready to face. He closed his eyes, ready to take his last step of the edge. </p><p>But it never came.</p><p>He didn’t take the final step to his death. He didn’t feel the freedom he longed for. He didn’t get the opportunity to leave this world. The moment ended as soon as it had come, when something stopped him. </p><p>“So that’s it Potter? Your just going to jump off the side of the astronomy tower and end it all? Is life so bad being the bloody savior, getting all the attention one could ask for, that he has to end it all like this?” </p><p>Harry opened his eyes and turned to see the last person he had ever expected to see, Draco Malfoy. Harry opened his mouth to say something but Draco didn’t let him.</p><p>“You know, I get that you hate yourself for being the cause of so many people dying to protect you, but please, could you get over yourself? Seriously, Potter. What would your parents say if they saw that you wasted your life after they had died to keep you alive? What would that cousin of mine and that werewolf Professor say if they saw that you decided that life wasn’t what you wanted and you decided just to chuck yourself off the astronomy tower?”</p><p>Harry was at a complete lose of words, but Draco wasn’t done yet. And Harry, no matter what he was feeling, which was confused, couldn’t find the courage to say anything. Not when he had been caught on the verge of death. Draco walked up to Harry, grabbed his shirt and threw him away from the edge where Harry had been standing, not caring that Harry feel to the floor in a heap. </p><p>“You know what you are Potter? Selfish.” He spat out in a tone one would think was disgust, but Harry knew better. Draco always sounded this way. “You think life is so bad that you could just end it all, leaving all the people who fought to keep you alive? What are you even thinking? That life for Harry Potter is so bad now that the war is over and he can finally live a normal life?” Harry watch as Draco moved over Harry, hovering over him. </p><p>“Merlin, I dont understand you. You have literally everything I could ever ask for, right there. You have friends, people who consider you family and adoring fans. And all you can think of, is the people that died in a war that isn’t even your fault. You didn’t start the fucking war Harry! You didn’t kill anyone! You quite literally saved thousand of lives from a racist mad man who was going to murder all muggles! You are a fucking hero and you over here feeling sorry for yourself?”</p><p>There was so much anger and emotion in Dracos voice, that Harry hadn’t actually noticed that Draco was on the brink of tears. He couldn’t see that Dracos eyes held tears in them, threatening the burst out.</p><p>“I am hated Harry. I lost everything. Everything I have ever known, was a lie. All my life, I lived in the shadow of a man who was an awful person, who hurt people, hurt children for Merlin sakes, and all I wanted to do was make him proud. Now, that man is in Azkaban, that man ruined the family name he taught me meant so much, he destroyed my life and my mother’s life, and the worst part of it all, is that all those stupid beliefs that he taught me growing up, they were all fake. So I lived my entire life being the bully, even became a fucking death eater, when I was the one in the wrong the entire time.”</p><p>Draco stepped back from Harry, falling onto the ground next to him. His head going straight into his knees as he began crying into them. Harry realized what was happening at that moment. Draco, was going through the same post-war issues as he was. If not even worse than Harry’s. Harry sat up, looking at the crying blonde and moved closer, resting a hand on the boys shoulder. </p><p>“Malfoy,” Harry spoke softly, “I’m sorry. I had no idea it was so bad for you. I mean, I should have known. I should have known we were going through this stuff.” Draco looked up at Harry, his eyes red and puffy, tears staining his face. </p><p>“I can’t get rid of it Potter. The mark. It won’t go away.” He moved his arms out to Harry, holding in front of him as he lifted the sleeve of his shirt up, revealing the tattoo. “I tried everything. I tried burned it off, I tried cutting it off. Nothing works. I will forever be a death eater. It will always be a reminder of the wrong side I was on and the awful decisions I made. And you over here wanting to die because of all the death that happened in a war you didn’t create.” </p><p>Something in Harry seemed to stick with those words. They dug deep into him, making him realize how stupid it was to want to end it all when there were people who had it worse, like Draco. Suddenly, he didn’t want to die. And he felt rather silly for planning this out to actually end it all. But realizing he didn’t want death, brought all the tidal waves of emotions he had been ignoring for so long, to come out like a tsunami. Instantly, he to was sobbing. </p><p>Harry never would have believed that the moment he thought would be his end would actually be the moment he was comforted by the most unlikely boy. Draco looked at the crying boy, Harry looked back, and nothing was spoken aloud, but each knew that they needed someone in this moment. Someone who knew that the war had broken them, and to really comfort them. Which is what lead to the two once school rivals in each other’s arms, sobbing into each other’s shoulders as if this was a normal thing and they were closer than they actually were. </p><p>No one knew how long the two had sat there in each other’s arms, but even after the two had stopped crying, they didn’t let go. There was something oddly comforting about being in the arms of the other boy, that they both just stayed like this. That was until Draco spoke up. </p><p>“I’m sorry for calling you selfish Potter.” Draco said, breaking the silence. Harry kept Draco in his arms but pulled back enough to look at Draco. “Draco, you weren’t wrong. I was selfish. To leave everyone behind the way I was doing it. It was wrong of me to do something like that. And if you wouldn’t have stopped me, I would be down there, dead. If anything, I should be thank you. You made me see reason when I stopped seeing it along time ago.” </p><p>Draco didn’t look Harry in the eyes, but nodded. “I just don’t understand it, I guess. In a way I do, a little. Wars are said to have lasting side effects, usually meaning that most involved in the war, suffer from depression and - well, suicidal thoughts. Feeling like you didn’t do enough to save the people you fought with. Not doing enough to end things. Or sometimes it’s just because you didn’t make the right choices, like me. But Potter, That’s not the reason I don’t understand.”</p><p>Harry looked at him confused, but Draco answered his question. “I have always been envious of you, you know. Though I wouldn’t show that to a living souls and if you ever tell anyone I will deny it to the day I die. But you had everything I ever wanted. People were proud of you for things you did, and all you had to do was be yourself. You didn’t have to try to show up, you didn’t need to get the best grades, you didn’t even need to save people. You were always looked up to by so many people and everyone wanted to be around Harry Potter.</p><p>“I would do anything to be you. Or to be your friend. And thats the saddest realization of my life. You rejected me. Everyone in the wizarding world used to play the little game were they were Harry Potter defeating the bad guy. It was normal for kids especially when we were growing up since you were our age. And then I messed up being being awful to you, and I knew I had, but instead of just saying I was sorry, I pushed you further away by being a wild to literally everyone. Yet the entire time, I hated myself for losing the opportunity to be your friend.”</p><p>Harry didn’t actually believed the words he was hearing come from Draco. Draco actually didn’t hate him all these years? His mind was still processing this when Draco continued.</p><p>“Can - can I tell you something? Something very personal? And you can either be weirded out or whatever, just know I’m telling you because it doesn’t mean anything in the end.” Harry swallowed hard before nodding. </p><p>“In fourth year, I was extremely awful to you because I was jealous. And so I made all the buttons that said you suck because you were getting all this attention. I knew deep down you wouldn’t actually do it, put your name in the goblet. But it was so easy to make you angry and so easy to pick on you. It came like second nature at this point. But then, I watched you nearly die after dragon chased you to what I thought was going to be your death. And I realized something. </p><p>“I realized that I didn’t actually want to see you dead. Or see you hurt. And I didn’t really want to torment you. I found myself wanting to see you and I found myself thinking about you a lot. I found myself staring at you more than I had before. And because of this stupid little crush I had developed for you, I realized that I was gay. And I’m only telling you this because I have to marry someone to carry on the family line. That and,” Draco paused and not his lip. Harry’s heart raced, his mind spinning at the knowledge of Dracos feelings.</p><p>“I want you to have a reason to want to live Harry. You deserve to live. And I know the reason you can’t trust Granger or Weasley, Granger would just probably psychoanalyze you and Weasley wouldn’t understand, but both wouldn’t understand enough to help you. They wouldn’t be the people you would go to to talk about your issues. I’ve watched you three long enough to see how that works. You usually deal with your issues alone. So, If you would like, if it would help, I would like to be there to help you. I will do anything to keep you alive. If means you cry on my shoulder, I’m okay with that. Whatever it means, I will do it. I owe it to you.” </p><p>Harry stared at the boy. What did he really want? Could he open up to the blonde? Why did he feel like could?</p><p>“I want - I want the pain to go away. I want to learn to live my life. I want to learn things about myself that I didn’t know. Discover myself. I want to fall in love and laugh and go on spontaneous adventures that don’t end up in near death experiences. I want to learn to live.” He looked away for a moment before turning and to Draco. “Could you help me find those things? Could you teach me how to live my life to the fullest. To actually wake up wanting to be alive? Is that even possible?”</p><p>Draco looked down at the floor, trying to collect his thoughts, Harry not knowing what he would hear from him. But Draco finally broke the silence after what felt like forever to Harry. </p><p>“I can try.” He said quietly, looking like he was contemplating something important. And when he made his decision he looked nervous. “I want to try something. Do you trust me?” Harry stared for a moment before nodding. “Okay. Close your eyes.”</p><p>Harry closed his eyes, wondering what on earth Draco could he up too. But it wasn’t long before he figured it out. He sat there in anticipation, every second feeling a lot longer than it actually was before he felt something really close to his face. He could feel Dracos warm breathing over his, moments before he felt a pair of lips of Harry’s. In complete utter shock, his eyes opened wide, and sure enough, Draco was kissing him with his eyes closed. </p><p>Harry didn’t know what to do. He had only ever kissed two people before, both them girls, one while she was crying, the other had felt wrong since she was like a sister to him. And Dracos lips were so much different than theirs. They weren’t soft and round but they were hard and a firm. And Dracos lips caused his heart to race faster than it ever had even with the two girls. </p><p>Draco noticed Harry wasn’t kissing back and he opened his eyes, moving back, looking completely embarrassed. He stared at Harry, who was staring right back in shock, both of them staying like this for a long moment. </p><p>“I’m - I’m so sorry Potter. Please, forget I did that.” He went to stand up, but Harry grabbed the boys wrist, pulling him back down, and before he hand a chance to even protest, Harry’s lips were back on Dracos, kissing him nervously, his heart pounding in his chest, his mind swirling so fast he couldn’t think straight, his insides feeling as if a fire had been ignited inside him. Draco kissed him back after the initial shock set in. The way Draco kissed him back, with so much fire and passion, it did exactly what Harry had asked Draco to do for him. It made him feel alive and suddenly, Draco was the only thing he needed in his life. He needed to keep this. He needed Draco Malfoy like this, forever.</p><p>Their kiss grew more intimate in time, both of them exploring each other’s mouths, each of them getting lost in the feeling of the other until they were both completely breathless and needed to pull away from air. Harry couldn’t get the smile off his face, his hair a bigger mess than usually from the hands that had been tangled in his hair. Draco looked the same way, hair in a mess. </p><p>“I think that we should do that again. Like all the time.” Harry said with a small laugh. Draco grinned and chuckled along side Harry’s laugh. </p><p>“I think that I can arrange for that. But we need to make a deal.” Harry nodded his head. “Anything. Whatever you would like.” Harry answered immediately. </p><p>“No matter what, you come to me if you ever feel like you did tonight. And one day, after I’ve had a child, and I’ve fulfilled what the family needs, I will give it all up if I meant that I could do this with you everyday. For now, we need to keep it quiet though. Okay?” </p><p>He smiled softly. “Okay, Draco.” He smiled and leaned in, connecting their lips once more. Harry knew that as long as Draco was there, he might just enjoy living again.</p>
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